Sunday, November 29, 2009

Friends and Favors— When To Say No


My cast member, Marigo (#msmpr) texted me to bring her written proposal to design life. She already did all the work of writing one of her brilliant pitches for one of her clients. I knew this day was coming after she was impressed when she saw the proposal I designed for @NewYorkCityPR's Video Publicity department for Sara Claire & Esther. Without much hesitation I told her it was a go.




After college, the beer pong is put away and the desire to attend the hottest & classiest galas becomes the new networking social hour— especially in NY. It's just a matter of time when your new friends start wanting favors— favors that take time away from your TDL (to do list) and turns their next incoming mail into gold. Here are 3 tips to know when to do the favor and when to JUST say no.

1. ASSESS YOUR FRIENDSHIP
A. You Just Exchanged Business Cards.
If you just met someone and they ask for a favor you need to ask yourself if you need anything from them. Maybe they have a contact you need or they are in an industry that you know you will need to tap into in the next 3-6 months. If this is the case then you can do them the favor with the underlying notion of asking them for one in return in the future.

B. A Friend You've Known For Over 2 Years
For someone that you have known for awhile that asks for a favor— they need to pass the "Facebook Test". If they haven't written on your wall in the past year or texted you in the past 3 months then that should make it easy for you to decline. If it's your bestie then by now of course you say yes to favors because they don't take advantage.

2. Listen to your gut
If someone asks you for a favor and you feel as if you are being used or have the high school feeling that you are being taken advantage of and know that this person would never do anything for you (you would never need a favor from them anyway) then email them and say, "I am sorry I just have too much on my plate to meet your deadline. Good Luck though! It sounds cool. Best, ______".

3. Beyond the 1st Favor
A. You're Becoming Colleagues
Oftentimes, you will dealing with someone who is your friend within your circle of colleagues and they have come to really like what you've got. When they ask for more favors you need to determine if you are getting anything in return. This can be a real advantage for you because a nice barter relationship has evolved. For example, if someone has a lot of twitter followers, contacts or a hot blog—you may be inclined to keep up your end of the favors if you see that you have been mentioned on postings or tweets. If nothing happens, then the next time they ask for the favor you can text them and ask them to do something for you— they will agree if they want something from you. If you want one of their contacts then after you do the first favor and they say "Thank You! I owe you one"— then go ahead and ask for their contact's email.

B. When To Charge
If you really don't need anything from them then you need to write your friend an email stating that you are slammed and the only way to be squeezed in is if they can pay for your time. Let them know that you gave them the friend discount. If you normally charge $50/hour charge $25. This is a really nice way to draw the friendly line. If you find out later that this person starts gossiping about your arrogance then you know they aren't a good friend and you can detox them out of your life.


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